Morning Wombats: TYPE 3

One astute reader has dutifully informed me of yet another morning-person type, which I seem to have glibly forgotten to draw your attention to, in my last post. Highly unlikely, I know, but sometimes things do slip between the cracks.
But before I go into the details of this third type of morning wombat, let’s recap on the first two.

Quick Summary:
TYPE1:
- Early risers
- Happy to be up at some ungodly hour
- Wants everyone around them to feel the same way – even if by force.
- Highly endangered

TYPE2:
- Normal People.

Ok. That pretty much sums it up.
Now, Type 3:

TYPE3:
Type three, I am told, are hardcore type 2’s.
These people can weather any badass TYPE1 that may be lurking in the darkness.
Getting these people out of bed is like waking the dead. These people have a black-belt in staying put. In fact the only time I have ever seen a type three is on route to the kitchen. Or bathroom. Depending on which one was visited last. Both times were scary.
Their eyes are kind of slitty, and their hair looks like hedgehog. Do NOT feed the hedgehog. No, not even if it begs you directly.
However, more than this, TYPE3’s are prone to acute aggression. I know this because my sister is a chronic TYPE3.
One would think that with all that sleep, these TYPE3’s would be all docile. Like a fuzzy bunny. Think Bambi and Thumper.
Not TYPE3’s. Nooooooooo sireee. TYPE3’s are NASTY. Try waking them up and prepare for the wrath of the gods.
Some deploy different defense strategies. Some lash out at you with claws. Some actually leave their sanctum for a few seconds to pulverize you and hide the body. Whatever they do, its swift and violent.
Sometimes it’s best to just let these sleeping dogs lie.
Some characteristics to look out for when identifying TYPE3’s:
- The hedgehog
- Violent, moody, temper, rage, weaponry
- Untidy people. Room looks like crack den. Socks all over the place. The hedgehog.
- Wake at 11am and above. Make way.

I am confident that Morning Wombats have now been properly identified. If I have missed a type out, I urge you: tell me. For the sake of mankind and Hedghogs around the world.
Happy sleeping. . .


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