Divine Gag

It’s been a crazy few weeks for me. At the exact time I was moving house, someone upstairs decided it was about time to run a bath. My money’s on Jesus.
The sky above turned ominously black, the clouds moved in, and the rain came down. Actually it would be more accurate to say that a violent monsoon sat on my head.
There I was, carting boxes et al, while around me, people were being carried away to Australia. Well not quite. But trees did fall over. And I was carrying boxes. Which is probably what prompted the torrent in the first place. But that’s a blog for another day.

I seriously believe that there is such a thing as Murphy’s Law. At least in some cosmic form or another.
God - whoever she is - has a sense of humor.
I mean why else would we have a month of near perfect weather, and then, catastrophic flooding the day I move house? It’s Murphy’s Law, a little Divine Gag on me.
And I get them all the time.

- The right key is always the last one on the bunch
- My toast always lands butter side down
- My cell phone will die the moment I actually need it in an emergency.

Etcetera.

In return for a lifetime of enduring these DivineGags, I am planning my own little gag for when I cross over.  I can see it now:

“Hey St. Pete, how’s it hangin’”

“Ahem. Welcome to heaven. Please do not touch the Pearly Gates. You are required to wear your halo at all times, wings are compulsory, but you get to choose between a harp and a flute. Dinner’s at 7. I hope you like honey”

“Cool with me Petey. Listen is God around?”

“God is busy. S/He is always busy.”

“Well could ya give Him/Her a message?”

“A message? You insolent little blighter.”

“Yeah, could you tell Him I’m actually not dead. I’m just lying reeeaaaaaaaallllllly still.”

“Actually you little stink bug, you are severely inebriated. Furthermore, according to Murphy’s Law, one out of every 2 million people*  who become severely intoxicated die as a result. O look: jokes on you.”

“Ill take the Harp.”

Moral for today: Never, NEVER mess with God. Or Murphy. Whoever strikes first.

* For illustrative purposes only