Childhoodlum

Have you ever played a prank phone-call on someone? When I was younger, a friend of mine used to have a telephone joke that we would play on unsuspecting victims, when we had no other pressing trouble to make. Ah yes, those were the days. No worries – and plenty of time to cause havoc in the ‘hood.

We would pick a number from the telephone directory – preferably one that listed a first name, surname and a decent address.
When the person picked up the ‘phone, we would start the joke as such:
[In a really perky happy voice] “Good Morning Mr Perkins, this is Tom from Exclusive Leather Lounge Suites Limited”
A hesitant Mr Perkins on the other side would normally respond with a vague “Y-yes?” – unable to decide how we knew his name, and unable to decide if he should know who we were.  I could just imagine him squinting his eyes, as he tried to fathom who these people were on the line.
“Yes, Mr Perkins, this is just a courtesy call to let you know your leather suite has arrived. From Italy. Would you like us to deliver, or would you prefer to collect?”
Stunned silence. At this stage he knew something was amiss. He needed more information:
“Im sorry…a leather lounge suite….ITALY?” (The Italy part always touched a nerve)
“Yes, Mr Perkins, your couches have arrived.”
By this stage Mr Perkins knows that this company has made a terrible blunder as he had certainly not imported any furniture - from Italy no less!
So, as any good Samaritan would, he tries now to explain that we have inadvertently phoned the wrong client:
“But I have not ordered any couches from you…you have the wrong person/number!”
Now this is where our telephone directory came in very handy.
“Is this Mr Perkins? Mr Harold Perkins”
A moments silence.
“Yes”
“Do you reside at 11 Helmsford Crescent, East End, Winchester?”
“Er..yes but -”
“Well then Mr Perkins your furniture has arrived”
Poor Mr  Perkins!
Thinking back, if I caught one of my own kids (if I actually had any of the blighters) doing that I would be forced to ship them off to some remote island occupied only by the waves crashing on the rocky beach and puffins. I would send the occasional food drop, just to keep them going though.
This is where I would also send Possum Woman.
Caused havoc as a child? – lets hear your fondest memories of childhoodlum!